just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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