I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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