but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
