your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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