Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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