I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
North Korea, Best Korea!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
