wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
