i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
