the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize