first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
