The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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