I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
