I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize