We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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