I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
