so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize