pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
