my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
