So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
