Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
