question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
