Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
