You're so nebulous sometimes
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize