I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize