I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Dicks are not precious.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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