Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
