hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
