In the future we'll all be gay
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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