so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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