So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she smelled like a LAN party
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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