I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
