i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
