hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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