they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
