Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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