So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
