I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
worst night to have a conscience
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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