what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize