I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
