Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
