and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
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