So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I checked into jail on foursquare
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
