Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
