I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
