i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
my liver is dry heaving
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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