Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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