I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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