I want you more than these girls want KFC
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
