NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he puts the penis in happiness.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
