I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
