i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
