Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
