Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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