She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
