he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Farmville is her only friend.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Text me some of your sweat
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
