Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
