john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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