I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
