i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
