the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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