??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
two words...techno handjob
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
