I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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