sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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