we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
