Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
How does one acquire holy water?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
