He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
