The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
