I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
