The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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