real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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