i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
