If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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