Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
