ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
