The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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