she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
